Love Has No Logic, part 2
by Deyna Ian Bloom
Summary: Three years after part one, Grace and Spock's son, Tark, is presumed dead from the destruction of Vulcan. Stricken with grief, Grace finds Spock to tell him of the son he never knew. With the woman he loves back in his life, what course will his new future take?
1. Ch1: Tark

i-i

Lying in a hospital bed, about to give birth to my son, Armand was holding my hand. I felt his hand brush my hair aside; his lips on my forehead.

"You look good sweaty," he said, trying to make me laugh by pissing me off. I weakly lifted my hand to flip him off. Over the course of my twelve month pregnancy, Armand and I had reverted to our previous friendship. He told me he no longer loved me, at least not as anything more than a friend. I was glad, if only for the fact that I had my best friend back. Since he'd come back to Earth the previous month, I had heard him whisper a woman's name in his sleep a few times. It made me happy.

"I'm talking to you, bitch," he said in mock anger. "Don't think you can ignore me because you're sick."

"Shut up," I said feebly. "Go fuck a nurse and leave me be." Lately, all he can talk about is how great sex feels now that he's got a penis.

"Oh hell no, I'm not passing up a chance to see your love cave." He stubbornly shook his head at me, trying not to smile.

I rolled my eyes. He still teased me, even though I knew he didn't want me like that anymore. "It's a C-section, Armand. Through the tummy."

He stopped smiling and almost looked genuinely disappointed. "Are you serious? No beaver show?" I shook my head. "Well fuck that! I'm going to screw a nurse. I'll be back in twenty minutes."

I smiled sweetly and wiggled my fingers at him. "You said 'three' wrong." His glare was priceless.

Just then, the room was flooded with nurses and the doctor, ready to slice me up. I felt the soft stab of a shot and the room was instantly foggy. I barely heard Armand's deep husky voice next to my ear. Somewhere a baby was crying. I blinked and blinked, and suddenly, Armand was gone and a blurry Spock was standing beside me. Tears fell from my eyes, and my lips managed to say his name. I couldn't believe he was here! For an entire year, I had heard nothing from him or my parents. Of course he wouldn't miss the birth of his child!

"Spock," I said again, my voice weak and barely there. "I knew you'd come. I love you so much." That's what I tried to say. It came out more like, "Nuh yuhd cmm. Lah yuh."

He stroked my hair. "I'm not Spock, hun."

I couldn't make sense of his words, but I didn't care. "Love you, Spock," I said, this time more clear. I heard Spock angrily mutter something about statues and magnifying glasses, then I passed out.

When I came to, I was lying in a clean bed. My belly looked no worse for wear, since the medicinal technology nowadays can heal cuts as soon as they were made. Armand was sitting in a hospital chair studying the ceiling.

"Where's my son," I asked him, making him jump at the sound of my voice.

He fussed over my blankets. "In the nursery. He'll be brought over soon. He looks like a Vulcan." I caught the bitterness in his voice, but I smiled at the thought.

"I was hoping he would." I tried peeking out of the room through the frosted glass window. Did Spock leave already? Did he see our son?

"He wasn't here, damn it," Armand said suddenly. "I know you're looking for him. He wasn't here."

I could feel my hope cracking. "But…I saw him. I…I saw him when our son was being born."

"It was a meds high. He didn't come."

My chin started to shake. Of course he hadn't come. I allowed myself the hope that he would, and it had proved fatal. I grabbed my chest. White hot pain filled my chest, the result of letting the tears take over. "It hurts," I sobbed. Armand grabbed me to his chest and rocked me back and forth. The pain I had tried to push away for an entire year was threatening to consume me. I couldn't let it have me. I wouldn't let it destroy the rest of my soul.

i-i

Two years later

i-i

"Tark, slow down! We'll get to the transporter room when we get there!" I shift my bag and race after my son. Because his brain is highly developed, he doesn't act like a toddler unless I'm walking too slow for him. I curse the Vulcan race under my breath and navigate my way to the transporter room, since my son has disappeared.

For the past three years, no one besides Armand has contacted me. Not my parents, not my grandparents, and not surprisingly, Spock. All my attempts at communication with my family came to nothing. The loneliness on Earth was too much to handle, so Tark and I moved to Deep Space Six, which is close by to Armand's home planet. Armand and his wife happily welcome us, even if we visit more often than we should.

I finally catch up with Tark as he is de-materializing on a transporter pad. I sigh and roll my eyes. He is SO his father's son. We're having a long discussion after we get to Uncle Armand's house. I walk over to the transporter chief and open my mouth to tell him I'm next, when he suddenly starts pressing every button on the screen.

"Captain, there's a malfunction in transporter room five," he says loudly, still flying over the panel.

"What's happening?" I almost want to shove him away and do it myself, but I'm definitely not a transporter engineer.

He ignores me, and continues working on the buttons. "I'm bringing him back, ma'am," he says to me. "Something malfunctioned on his way there. He's alright though." I sigh in relief, then the officer's face wrinkles again. "Seems like there's more mass on the way back. Maybe a cat or something ran onto the pad."

I hear the transportation noise and turn to start lecturing my toddler, but am shocked to find a ten year old boy on the pad. "Who are you?" I say in confusion, looking at the other pads for Tark.

"It's me, mother," the boy says in Tark's irritated tone.

My mouth pops open in shock. "Ex…excuse me?"

"I'm Tark. Use your logic, mother." His eyebrows furrow, just like Spock's do when he's irritated.

I angrily turn to the transporter engineer. "Fix him right now! De-materialize him and fix his signal back to the way it was!"

"Your order is illogical, mother. To turn me back to a toddler would be unimaginable. My brain has developed along with my body, and I do not wish to go back to the underdeveloped brain of a two year old." He crosses his arms over his chest and gives me a look I'm used to with him. He's always been stoic like Vulcans are. He never laughs, he never does baby things. He didn't babble when he was a baby. He went straight to clearly spoken words. At his first birthday, he said his first sentence. Sometimes his development is too fast for me to catch up with. But this…allowing him to age eight years?

"Tark…I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do."

He immediately reacts with annoyance. "This is the logical outcome, mother. Just because your brain is simple and thinks I should go back to being a baby, it is not logical."

I poke a finger out at him. "Don't you try to belittle me, mister. I may not be a Vulcan, but I'm not stupid." I sigh and grunt to myself. "Fine, we'll do it logically. Even if your mother wants you to go back to being a toddler, which is your real age, and the age you should continue aging at, if you think it's the wrong decision, then you can stay this way until you ask to go back. Deal?" He nods, and looks self-satisfied while I join him on the transporter pad.

"Energize," he says in a bossy tone. My eyes fill with light patterns and then I see Armand's home in front of us. Tark immediately walks away with his hands behind his back, surveying the world as his father used to. Armand comes outside and sees me alone.

"Where's the munchkin?" He gives me a quick hug and I point to Tark, and I point to Tark, who is across the yard from us. Armand quirks his head at the ten year old boy. "I don't recall drinking before I came out here…didn't you have a two year old five minutes ago?"

"There was a transporter malfunction and it aged him. He wants to stay this way." I rub my forehead and sigh. "Armand, you've known him since birth. He's never loved me. Normal babies cry when their mothers leave the room. With him, it's like I don't exist. And now I have to let him stay the wrong age or I'm being 'illogical.'"

Armand shrugs, his eyes still watching Tark. "Maybe it's a Vulcan thing, dear."

"If only his father was…" I stop myself and have to hold back the pain. My life for the past three years hasn't been real living. I take care of my son, and distract myself with anything and everything to keep the pain away. Spock is in my dreams every night, and every morning I have to push back my emotions so I don't break down. I clear my throat. "So, how's the wife? Still humping like rabbits?"

Armand smiles at me and doesn't touch the Spock subject. "You wouldn't believe how many times a day we fuck. We're discovering which pieces of furniture are the sturdiest. It's a hobby."

I roll my eyes and smile. "Leave it to me to reject the man who can go all day."

He gives me a flirty grin and pretends to shove me away. "You sexy beast, I have a wife now. Don't try begging for scraps." I stick my tongue out at Armand and call my ten-year-old toddler inside.


	2. Ch2: Vulcan

i-i

Armand's wife, Mika, is more than pissed that the toddler clothes she handmade don't fit Tark now. After dinner when Tark and I are settled in the guest rooms, I faintly hear him consoling her with a healthy round of sex. Or two. Or three. Way to be quiet when there's a child in the house.

The next morning, there's a note on the table saying that Armand and Mika are on a "picnic" and to use the replicator to get our breakfast. I roll my eyes and curse Armand's over-active sex life while I replicate myself some eggs. Tark comes down and replicates some oatmeal, then sits as far away from me as he can. He's replicated himself some clothing, I note, which looks Vulcan-like.

"Nice clothes, sweetheart," I say with a smile. How do you talk to a ten-year-old? My brain hasn't switched from toddler-mode.

"They are very practical, lightweight, and stain resistant," he says simply, and politely eats a spoon of oatmeal. His brain development must've included manners.

"Would you like to take a walk? Uncle Armand and Aunt Mika went on a picnic, so we're probably free to entertain ourselves until dinner." Or later.

"A walk would be logical, however, I have already planned to contact Vulcan and request some curriculum from the Vulcan Academy." It suddenly occurs to me that he's old enough, in body, to be in school now. I haven't quite worked out how he will be educated, since it's supposed to be years in the future. Human schools won't be challenging enough for him.

"That's great, sweetie! Maybe we can set up some distance learning or something. I'm sure there's a Vulcan that lives on the station. We can contact him-"

"It would not be the same as being on Vulcan," he says firmly. I can tell he's thought about this before telling me.

"Tark, I wouldn't be welcome on Vulcan. They would let me live there, but Vulcans don't like humans. We would both suffer ridicule."

"I will find my father and live with him," he says, matter-of-factly. My eyebrows rise in shock. "Tell me his name, please."

I think up a hasty reply, since I still haven't decided what to do about Spock and the whole him not knowing about his son thing. "Your father's name is between me and myself. I will tell you when you are both ready to meet each other."

Tark calmly gets up and fluidly walks over to the replicator with his dishes, which promptly disappear. "I shall see you later, mother." Without a smile, he turns and walks back to the quest rooms.

"Tark," I call to him. He stops at the stairs and turns back to me. "I love you." I've said the same thing to him since the day he was born. His reaction has always been as if I hadn't said anything. He nods to me and turns away. My heart sinks as I watch him leave. Is this what Vulcan mothers have to deal with? Maybe they don't care. I thought maybe if I poured enough love into him, he would eventually show the human side of his blood. Now I've pissed him off, so that's not helping.

I get up and toss my dishes into the replicator. In Armand's study, the only books available on his digital book reader have to do with sex (surprise surprise). I pick an erotic novel and sit down to read it. Needless to say, as my body starts to react, I wish I hadn't started reading it. Each chapter leaves me even more heated, and I don't notice the passage of time. I'm almost to the end, and the sex is the hottest yet, when I hear Armand chuckling in the doorway.

"Find something you like?" he says, startling me.

I drop the book reader in shock and get up awkwardly. "You really should buy something other than erotica, Armand. What are your guests supposed to do when you're off sexing it up?"

"Hey, those are useful, I'll have you know. When I'm working, Mika reads those, and man…the sex is ten times better afterwards."

I narrow my eyes and poke a finger at him. "You will stop talking about sex in my presence, or your dick will be chopped off."

"Fine, fine. Where's Tark?"

"Getting Vulcan curriculum." I put the book reader back on the table and remind myself to get a copy of the book I read.

Armand looks confused. "Upstairs?"

I scrunch my eyebrows together. "Yes?"

"There's no one up there, sweetheart. Mika just checked. That's why I was looking for you two." I race upstairs and find Tark's room empty of him and his bag. On the nightstand is a small note that Mika missed seeing. I pick it up and read it out loud to Armand.

"Dear Mother, I have borrowed Armand's small craft and gone to Vulcan. If I want to expand my mind, this is the logical way. I know that you do not understand, since in your mind I am still an infant. I am determined to find my father on Vulcan, and I will live with him there. I request that you forget me, and find a happy life with your kind, as I will with my people." We stand in silence for a few minutes and I can feel my heart breaking.

"That ungrateful little shit…" Armand says under his breath.

"Watch your mouth, Armand," Mika scolds from the doorway. "He's still family."

"You heard what he wrote, Mika. 'I request that you forget me.' What kind of child says that to his mother?" My eyes have blurred with tears, but I hear her slap him and then feel her arms go around me. I hold onto her and sniffle a few times. She's always considered me her sister, and respected my friendship with Armand. I only hate her a little because of her perfect body.

"We'll contact Vulcan and they'll send Tark back," she says soothingly and rubs my back a few times. "It should take him about five hours to get there, but don't worry. He'll be back in a day or so."

Armand pats my shoulder. "I'll have a talk with him when he gets back, gorgeous. Funny…last month I scolded him for trying to disassemble a lamp. Now I'm scolding him for running away from home and being mean to his mother." He shook his head while rolling his eyes.

Mika sent the message and when there was no response, she set it on a repeating signal, and we all went to bed. I tossed and turned for hours. The next day came, and we all sat on pins and needles waiting for a message. Mika's communication screen lit up with the Federation symbol twelve hours after Tark left. On the screen was a short message from the Federation ship nearest Vulcan, the Enterprise.

It informed us that Vulcan had been destroyed at the exact time Tark should've arrived.

My son was dead.


	3. Ch3: Death Stare

i-i

"Welcome to the Enterprise, Miss," a voice says to me. Am I still in the transporter room? My feet move forward and I stumble a little. "Careful there, Miss! You said this was an emergency, but as it's an unauthorized visit, you'll have to go to the bridge and speak with the Captain." I mumble a reply and keep walking forward until I run into a wall. The man rescues me again, and takes my shoulders so he can guide me to the bridge.

My eyesight is still blurry from the news. My precious son is dead. The son that I love, that never loved me, was destroyed with the planet Vulcan. I collapsed after reading the message, and didn't wake up for days. The first thing I did after waking was find out where Spock is. Then I transported back to Deep Space Six and used my savings to buy a shuttle. It took me longer to get there, since Armand's shuttle was better than mine, but I managed to make it to Earth and found where the Enterprise was docked.

The doors to the bridge open and a barrage of voices hits me. At first it sounds like they're shouting, but then I realize they're singing a drinking song. The whole group laughs as it ends, and then someone notices me. A roguishly handsome man with dirty blonde hair walks towards me.

"What do we have here, Lieutenant?" he says with a huge grin in my direction.

"This young lady requested to be brought aboard. She said it's an emergency," the engineer replies.

"I'm Captain Kirk," the handsome man says to me. "What seems to be the problem?"

I try to speak, but nothing comes out. I focus, and find my voice. "I need to see Spock," I say quietly.

"What do you want with Spock," someone says next to me. I turn and see an old Vulcan standing there glaring at me. "I am Sarek, Spock's father. Who are you?"

My voice goes out again from having a tall Vulcan looking at me like I'm a fly in his ear. Movement catches my eye and I see a blurry figure that reminds me of Spock. As it comes closer, I'm sure it's him.

"Grace," he says in disbelief, like he'd never expected to see me again. Like I'd come back from the dead. I whisper his name and try to walk towards him, but face plant on the carpet instead. Old habits die hard, I guess.

"I'm always tripping around you." I feel him smooth my hair out of my face as I sit up and look at him.

"Who is this woman," Sarek demands above my head.

"I'd like to know too," a woman's voice says with venom. Even without looking, I can feel the daggers pointed at Spock's head.

"I thought you were dead, Grace. They told me that you were dead," Spock says, still smoothing my hair. "I cannot believe you are here." His scent hits my nose, and my vision slowly comes into focus. Are those tears on Spock's face?

"I'm not the one that's dead, Spock," I say sadly. I have to break his heart, after he's just lost his home world. "We….we had a son." I gulp and my lip trembles. Spock's face is stunned, but he keeps stroking my hair like it's a lifeline. "There was a transporter malfunction, and he aged eight extra years, so he decided to go to Vulcan. He was probably there when …." My voice breaks and I lean into Spock's arms. I feel instant warmth and a release of tension. Oh, how I've missed these arms.

"Your son was on the planet when it was destroyed?" Sarek says in shock. I nod against Spock's neck. Without a word, Spock stands and picks me up. He carries me out of the bridge, with three extra footsteps behind us, and takes me to a conference room. He gently sets me in one of the chairs and sits next to me. The other three, Sarek, Captain Kirk, and the woman that spoke, sit down as well. Why is she here?

"Why did you keep the child a secret?" Sarek asks firmly.

"I tried to contact my family after I left school, but I never got a response. It was like I didn't exist to them anymore. I tried Spock a few times as well, and there was no answer." They all look at Spock for confirmation.

"I remember someone was using Grace's authorization code after the report came about her supposed death. Her parents reported it as well. We thought it was the girl who killed her, so the signal was permanently blocked."

That would explain a lot. "Who is my supposed murderer?"

"Armas," Spock says in a tone that tells me he's had a hard time believing that Armas would've done such a thing, which he/she wouldn't. Not even if I stole her/his heels (which yes, Armand still owns better heels than mine or Mika's, and he likes to brag about it too).

"It was Armas who was shot, by Jhara. She was given a new host."

It's obvious, at least to me, that Spock is relieved to find all this out. "That would explain why we could not find her."

"That does not explain why you did not think to find Spock and tell him about his child," Sarek says in the pissed off Vulcan tone.

"Spock didn't answer my communications, and he made it clear before we parted that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Call me crazy, but that's not exactly a welcome mat," I say defensively.

"Oh. So, you two had a thing," the woman says with enough venom to kill the entire population of Earth. I almost move Spock's chair closer so her stare doesn't make his head explode.

Spock is calm, as always. "It was not prudent to tell you of my past, Uhura."

"Don't you give me 'not prudent,' you asshole!" She shot up from her chair, her black ponytail swinging around. Her stare focused on me, and I tried not to betray how scared I was of it. "Spock is with me now, so you can forget all your little notions of stealing him back. I'm sorry about your son, but I think you should leave now." She crosses her arms over her chest and continues to stare at me with her death glare.

Spock stands up too. "Grace will stay on the Enterprise until I send her away. Even if our son is dead, she is the mother of my child. On Vulcan, she would have had special honors for giving me a son. I will not ignore the traditions of my people, not with my home world gone." His face betrays that his shell has broken, and his control over his emotions is almost non-existent. I want to take his hand, but I know I should wait until we're alone. Partly because of Uhura, who is still glaring at me.

"You're shitting me right now. Tell me you're shitting me," Uhura demands.

"What Spock says is the truth, Uhura," Sarek says sternly. "Grace has a place of honor in Spock's household now, even if he weds another."

"This is insane! Well, you can consider us officially over, Spock. I'm getting a transfer and getting away from your crazy Vulcan ass!" She stomps over to the door and turns back as it opens. "Oh, and I'm guessing she's the reason you wouldn't sleep with me. I never believed the 'I'm not ready' crap you gave me!" She leaves and I hear her yelling cuss words down the hall.

"Wow," Kirk says in an amused voice. "You didn't sleep with her? That's kinda…" He gestures with his hand. "I mean, I would've been all over that."

"This topic is inappropriate for a captain, Captain," Spock replies.

Kirk puts his hands up defensively. "Got it. I'll leave you three alone now." He stands and gives me a charming smile. "Lovely to meet you, Grace. If you need me for _anything_, don't hesitate to find me." A slight wink from him changes the meaning of 'anything.' He walks out of the room and leaves me alone with Spock and Sarek.

Awkward.

i-i


	4. Ch4: Such a Charmer

I did make Uhura kind of a bitch, but that's how she acted in the new Star Trek movie, so I ran with it, and I apologize if Uhura fans don't like my version of her!

olderTrekki: I'd forgotten about the Klingon boar when I named Tark! I played around with Sarek's name and eventually came up with Tark. Someone told me that Vulcan boy names typically start with a T and end with a K if they're the second son, but since there's already Spock and Sarek, I decided on a T name for Tark. Tark was also originally supposed to be a twin, and his twin sister was named Atana, but I thought it made the story too clustered to have her around.

i-i

After being left alone with Sarek and Spock, I expected more ribbing, but surprisingly, they were both calm and polite, even if there was a huge elephant in the room. I'm still feeling the awkwardness as I follow Spock down the endless ship hallways.

Has he missed me? Does he dream about me every night like I do about him? He definitely has/had a thing with Uhura, so does that mean he doesn't love me anymore? Is he sad about our son?

I suddenly feel like not caring about his feelings as the stress from the past week decides to rest in my forehead. I rub my temples and keep walking, but since I don't notice that Spock has stopped walking, I run into him. Perfect.

"These are your accommodations," he says without skipping a beat, even though I almost made him slam into the wall. "I hope they will be adequate for your stay here." His face is blank again. I hate how he always masks whatever he feels around me. I of all people should be the person he relaxes around, if only for the fact that I'm now a permanent part of his household, no matter that our son is dead.

Oh shit, now I'm going to tear up in front of him. Be cool, be cool. "It'll be just fine, Spock, thank you." I give him a weak smile that I don't feel at all and stare at a spot on the door.

He steps closer to me, not quite close enough to be intimate, but close enough for him to show a drop of concern. "What can I do for you? Is there anything I can say to help you?"

You could hold me like you did when you loved me, I think silently. I can tell my eyes have said what my lips couldn't, because Spock leans away from me and puts his mask back on. Typical. Not even the death of our child can make him need me. I guess I was the only one who wasted away for three years.

I pin him with a disappointed miserable look, all that I feel now that I'm finally in front of him after so long. "You're still afraid to love me, aren't you?" I don't wait for an answer, and with one final look at him, walk into my room. He enters uninvited behind me, and closes the door.

"I know I am not allowed to make this request of you, but I beg your indulgence for five minutes, and then I will not bother you again." His nearness makes my knees turn to jelly, but I nod, and wait for him to drill me about Tark. Instead, he brings me closer and wraps me in his arms. "You're alive," he whispers, the words almost like a prayer, and most definitely accompanied by tears. "You're alive…..you're alive…" he repeats himself until the words are replaced by sobs. I wonder if it's from the loss of his planet, or his mother (a fact I found out during the awkwardness we just left), because it can't be that he's really this thankful I'm not dead. He starts to stroke my hair while he sobs, and I almost crack. I almost let myself believe he's crying in relief, and that I really do matter to him still. Then he straightens up and steps back from me.

"Thank you for that," he says calmly, like we've been discussing earth history or horticulture. "If you need anything, do not hesitate to find me."

And then he leaves, like the bastard he is. I hope he chokes.

i-i

Okay, I was kidding. I don't want him to choke. God help me, I still love the Vulcan son of a bitch.

I watch him walking around the ship's lounge, getting himself something to drink and sitting down with a few of the rescued Vulcans. One of them, an old woman, speaks to him and points to my seat across the room. Spock turns back to look at me and I feel my heart skip a beat. Damn, he can still get me hot with just a look. He stands and navigates the room to get to me.

When he's standing in front of me, he leans to whisper in my ear, "The Elders would like to meet you."

I shiver at his closeness and the spark that passes between us. Slowly, he moves away from my ear, and I glance down at his lips. Oh, I'm such a fool to think I can just forget our connection. Even if I'm so angry I'm about to lop off his head (which I almost am), he could still pin me against the wall and kiss me into oblivion (as well as other stuff we could do against the wall….cuz I am sooo open to that and oh my god I suck at being angry).

His Adam's apple bobs, and I know he's not unaffected by our spark of attraction.

Score.

"Stop smoldering me with your gaze and stand up," he whispers before grabbing my arm and pulling me off my seat.

"I was not smoldering you, Mr. Propriety." I stick my tongue out at him and walk towards the Elders.

"Do not deny your ploys, Miss Fairgrass," he says, catching up to me.

"You're not allowed to be so formal, Spock. You've seen me naked." I peek at him, and almost giggle at his expression, but my mood is still a little dark, even if I'm enjoying the banter. Every two seconds, I see Tark in Spock's face.

"As I recall, upon our last private meeting, you informed me I had no right to call you by your first name," Spock says with, dare I say, indignance.

I stick my tongue out at him again just as we reach the stately Vulcan woman that summoned me. She stands when we stop in front of her. "Miss Fairgrass, you honor us." She nods her head to me and I feel like curtseying back because she's so regal looking. She gestures to the seat Spock had just occupied, so I sit down with her. "It is a grave loss to the family of Sarek to lose the heir of Spock. Tell me about your son, Miss Fairgrass. We have been told the child was somehow aged beyond his years?"

I swallow and wish Spock would put his hand on my shoulder, just to steady me. "Yes, there was a transporter accident. Tark told me it would be 'illogical' to turn him back into a toddler."

The woman nods regally. "Vulcan children are often this way. It must have been a challenge for you, as a human, to raise one of our race. Our intelligence is so vastly superior to that of a human's. No doubt, Spock's heir had to slow down in order for you to catch up."

Before I can bristle at the insult, Spock's hand slips onto my shoulder. "I chose Miss Fairgrass as my mate for the reason that I found her intelligence to be satisfactory."

Damn straight.

The Vulcan woman doesn't show the slightest emotion to Spock's words. "Indeed," she says. "I am certain she will brighten your household, and will welcome your future Vulcan mate when the time comes."

His future what? I almost ask the woman what she means, but Spock's hand tightens on my shoulder, telling me to be quiet.

"Miss Fairgrass and I should be going now, Elder," Spock says, and takes my hand to lead me out of the lounge.

I fumble after him, his long strides making me run into his feet. "Will you slow down? You're making me trip."

"A tendency you always possess in my presence," he tosses over his shoulder, his gait not slowing until we reach my quarters.

"God, you are still such a smart ass," I say with a roll of my eyes. He pulls me into my room and locks the door behind us. Oddly enough, Spock doesn't speak for a few minutes, he just fumes silently by the door. "Would you like a drink?" I ask him.

"NO!" he shouts, then he recoils and calmly repeats himself. I get a glass of water and sip it while Spock paces around my room.

A Vulcan.

Pacing.

Gotta love it.

"Something wrong?" I ask him, trying not to giggle.

"The Elder implied that you are not good enough to be my mate."

Well that's different. "I think it was my lack of pointy ears."

He grips a chair with both hands. "It is not a lack of qualities that prevents me from making you my bonded life mate. Nor is it race. That anyone should think so is…." He squeezes the chair like he's about to tear chunks out of it, and then he steps away to stare out the enormous windows, in perfect control again.

He's so much like Tark, I think sadly. "Don't worry, I know what it is. It's just lack of feelings."

Spock turns and stares at me in disbelief. "Surely you jest."

I cross my arms over my chest and stare back at him. "I surely don't."

"Did you forget the things you were shown during our mind meld?" he says, taking a step towards me. I shrug, since even if he once loved me so much that he would do anything for me, his love wasn't strong enough to stay with me. He moves closer and closer to me. "You are my universe," he says as he stops in front of me. "From the moment I saw you, my world shifted. You became my everything." His speech has me two seconds away from lunging into his arms, but then he adds, "And that is the precise reason why we cannot be joined."

Gee, you really know how to charm a girl.

i-i


	5. Ch5: Mind Meld

I thought I'd update sooner this time, since everyone, including me, is tired of Spock being a poopy head. Also, I'd like to say that no matter where I go on the internet, even when I'm searching for cute puppy pictures, there's always people arguing about something, so I'd like to thank my reviewers for being so civil and not arguing like babies or complaining about stuff :)

i-i

"Would you mind explaining why, if you clearly love me, that we 'cannot be joined'?" I ask Spock with a tired sigh. I might momentarily forget my grief when I'm around him, but it's still there. Lurking.

"I would have thought this was obvious," he answers simply.

I take his face in my hands and hold firm when he tries to pull away. "Spock, I just lost my child. We lost our son. Please, for his sake, stop playing games with me."

He reaches up and strokes one of my hands. "I am Vulcan. I must conduct myself in a logical manner. That is the way a Vulcan lives. The way _I_ live. When you are near….logic escapes me, my brain becomes disorderly. And now…" He looks away. "You have every reason to blame me for the death of our son. If not for that, I would consider forgoing logic and-"

I cut him off with a deep kiss on those sinful lips of his. "You're such a moron," I whisper before kissing him again. And again. My thirst and passion for him overflow, and I can't get enough. My memories of his kisses were paltry, compared to this moment.

He kisses me back, deeply, and with more fervor than I thought he has. Like he's been dreaming about kissing me. He pulls back and rests his forehead against mine. "If I do not have logic….then who am I?"

I kiss him gently and nuzzle his nose. "You are S'chn T'gai Spock. And you're mine."

He pets my hair and smiles warmly at me….without breaking his face. "You learned my name. And you pronounced it correctly. I am exceedingly proud to call you my mate."

"Yeah well, you'd better be," I say with a smile before pressing against him and resting my head against his neck. "I have one request, Mr. Spock."

"Anything you wish, ashayam, my beloved."

"Don't ever leave me again," I say quietly. I sigh and sniff, trying to hold off tears. I wait for him to remind me that I was the one who left, which is true, but instead he pulls me back and tenderly kisses my lips.

"I give you my assurance that only death shall separate us. And even then, I will still be with you. For all eternity." He kisses me senseless for a good long while. Finally, he stops, and holds me close.

"I have a second request," I say to him. He pulls back to look at me, his face a little confused, since we'd covered all the important promises. "Stop being sappy. It's weird."

He smirks, the look that made me fall in love with him. "So you command, I shall endeavor to please." I roll my eyes and he kisses me to stop my retort. "I also have a request." I nod, and he takes my hand to lead me into the bedroom. If he's requesting to make love to me, he really doesn't have to ask. Instead, he lowers me on the bed and lays next to me, brushes his hand through my hair, and says, "I would like to see my son." For a few seconds, I have no idea what he's asking, but then I remember. I bring his hand up to my face and he positions his fingers to mind meld with me.

My memories of Tark start to flow through us, and our emotions blend together, creating an arc of intimacy around us. All of our emotions are exposed, as if he's unlocked every barrier between our minds. The feeling is akin to a massive orgasm, and we both gasped with pleasure from it. Every second, more feelings roll over us, and suddenly we're kissing madly and hurriedly getting our clothes out of the way. I know nothing except the wash of sensation and the feel of Spock making love to me. Because we've already been keyed up from the residual mind meld emotions, neither of us last longer than a minute. Spock collapses on top of me and we rest until our breathing is normal.

"Our son," Spock says softly, moving his head to look into my eyes. "Our son was perfect." Even though I try, I can't help it. I start crying. He holds me close, and then I hear his soft sobs.

We mourn our son, wrapped in each other's arms.

i-i

Spock's com badge wakes us up, beeping insistently. He gets up, still deliciously naked, I might add, and finds it on the floor.

"This is Commander Spock," he says into the badge.

"There you are!" the badge declares, sounding like the sandy haired roguish captain I met yesterday. "I've been trying to reach you for twenty minutes. You're late to your shift. By about three hours. Any explanation you'd like to offer, Mr. Spock?"

"I apologize for my tardiness, Captain. I shall report within the hour." He presses the badge again, turning it off, and tosses it back on the floor with our clothes.

"He doesn't sound too mad," I remark as I sit up, the sheet falling to reveal my naked breasts. Spock turns at that exact moment and sucks in air through his teeth as he surveys me, a sure sign he likes what he sees.

"Your breasts are smaller than I remember," he comments, looking nonchalant, even though he clearly has an erection now.

"I had a reduction after Tark was weaned. Armand wouldn't shut up about how much better his rack was when he was Armas, and besides, I got tired of my back hurting." I lean back against the wall, proudly displaying my smaller breasts and cock an eyebrow at him. "Complaining?"

"Never. I love you for your mind. Your body is simply…icing on the cake. I would love you even if your weight exceeded 90 kilos. I am simply incapable of feeling any other way."

I smile sweetly at him. "Your sappiness is showing. And a few other things."

"I recognize your complaints as merely incentive for me to have my way with you, since I happen to know you adore sappiness, however, I have to report to the bridge now." He bends and starts to get dressed.

Vulcans. Always business, never fun. Well, some fun, and then back to business. I flop down on my stomach and swing my feet around while I watch Spock's skin disappear underneath blue and black. Stupid uniform. Covering up a delicious body. He should be arrested for wearing clothes.

Spock stops dressing and looks over at me. "You would prefer I work naked?"

My eyes widen and I remember we're still linked from the mind meld. "No! Then other women would see what they're missing and kill me or something so they can have you. Stop reading my thoughts."

"In my defense, I cannot help it. Your thoughts are in my mind, whether I want to listen or not." He zips up both boots and leans over to kiss my head. I grumble to myself about stupid telepathic Vulcans while he attaches his com badge and runs a comb through his hair. Then he kneels in front of me and kisses me deeply. "I love you, my Grace. I shall return when my shift is over. If you should need me, feel free to find my quarters. There's a spare com badge in my dresser."

"I love you too," I say, kissing him back.

And then he leaves, and I'm faced with an important question.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ALL DAY?

i-i


End file.
